Forgotten Dark by Louise Worthington

Author:Louise Worthington [Worthington, Louise]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bloodhound Books

Chapter Sixteen

There have been many sessions that Sally has paid for, only to sit directly opposite Ruth and withhold information. Sometimes the therapist has questioned why Sally made an effort to see her, and has increasingly said to ring any time between sessions if she wants to talk. To push Sally on the subject of Ricky would risk the relationship of trust between them. Ruth’s supervisor, Shari, tells her to trust the process, to give Sally the space and security she needs to share her full story.

Ruth looks at her notes, remembering how Sally looked like her teeth were tearing freshly-baked bread when she said it: ‘I am not darkness. The darkness is your own; it lives inside you.’

The subtle gestures and sayings appear to be acted out unconsciously – sometimes of her mother and other times of a child. By adopting some of the characteristics of her mother and child, it would seem that Sally may have responded to Jeremy’s death as another abandonment, felt as a wife – like her mother did – and as herself as a teenager when her dad disappeared.

Whilst aware of the parallels between her situation and her mother’s, Sally vehemently denies being anything like her. The denial needs to be tackled. Ruth hasn’t seen her long enough to be sure of the depth of change in her self-awareness; she hasn’t explored deeply into all aspects of the past.

‘Depth is key.’ That’s what Shari said. She’s right.

Ruth decides she has to probe into areas which Sally has suppressed, for her to progress. Without tackling those Sally will never be fully well – or ‘free’, to use her expression. It is a tricky balancing act as her counsellor. The last thing Ruth wants to do is push too hard, or break the therapeutic alliance between them, but without honesty and openness no further progress can be achieved. While Sally’s experience at her mother’s hand has been damaging, coupled with the loss of a father in her life, there is quite possibly more to her past Ruth doesn’t yet know.

And nor does Sally.

With ten minutes left before Sally’s appointment, Ruth listens to a recording from a previous session.

Tuesday thirtieth of March.

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